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♥ Thursday, April 9, 2009 @ 5:16 PM
`some stuff Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do no, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine. But, before you even think of dating my daughter, you'll have to fill out the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter. FUNNY or not? haha if my dad do this, wahhhhhhhhhh haha. imagine haha still got another story When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore, I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.>From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I Held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage. - Author unknown - moral of the story? do sweet things even after having a baby in order for a marriage last. haha yup if my next time my hubby dun do this, i sure very sad e. haha dunno see hwo first ba haha Beware of this 6 love busters that can destroy your relationships. 1: Selfish Demands - Remember that love is give and lust is take. If the person really love the other person whether as a friend or bgr, the person should not always made selfish demands that benefits themselve only. Even if its for both to gain, the demander should consider the other person's point of view and how he or she feels. If not, what is the difference between taking something from others for personal gain? 2: Disrespectful Judgements - Do not speak out disrecpectful judgements like hurling abuse e.g. you stupid, idiot, lousy and etc. Although sometimes for that person's good sake, you may have to say the person; avoid using abusive and sensitive words. Remember that your intention is to bring up the person and not bring down. So hurling abusive words will contradict to your intention. Also, we human have no rights to judge one another becasue we ourselves made mistakes and want our mistakes to be forgiven too. Treat others as what you want others to treat you. 3: Angry Outburst - Try your best not to throw your temper around, even though sometimes i know its quite hard to control. Just do your best to overcome it. If what the person did is too much, talk to the person seriously starting from the root of the problem! Not bringing in other no link stuffs into the conversation and see who did the most number of errors against each other. After that come out with a solution and made a promised to that. I can assure you that after you do that, both will feel a lot better; relationship will be strengthen. Remember this, What's the point of winning an argument but lost a relationship? 4: Dishonesty - You have heard that honesty is the best policy. Honesty lead to a clear road map to resove conflict and meets important emotional needs. While dishonesty is offensive and lead to many troubles as you know one lie leads to many lies. Why people lie? - to protect themselve. - to look good. - to avoid trouble (blame shifting). - out of compulsion. In the end, the truth will be shown. Who will lose out? A liar or a truthful person? Just a lie can destroy a person's reputation which takes years and effort to build. So, don't lie. Speak the truth. 5: Annoying Habits - Watch out for annoying habits like shaking of legs, digging of nose, speaking of vulgarities and etc. Yes, you may say that its the person's character. However, if the habits are bad and irritating, it is not pleasant for others especially your partner may get pissed off one day and argument starts. Here's an example. A married couple, the husband has an annoying habits by leaving empty snack bags, bottles and magazines all over the place. The wife, however is a bit pissed or annoyed by it because she has to clear it up everytime. The point is this, the wife can choose to express her feelings to her husband or to keep it inside first. If the wife express her feelings to her spouse, both knows what's going on and so a solution and an agreement can be met. If not, the wife bottles up the anger, hurt and irritation inside and what happens if she can't take it anymore? Another example will be let's say a business meeting settings. A person is meeting two or more clients and the speaker keeps shaking his or her legs. Is this considered annoying habits towards the clients? Will this bring a good image for the person? 6: Independent Behaviour - This is quite serious. Sometimes a person can be too focus by their own tasks and get so focus that they forget the people around them. E.g. taking others for granted, ignoring how others think and feel, overly dominant. Who likes to be ordered around by others? No one right? So the person have to give a second thought for how others felt especially in a bgr or even married couples. Talk to each other. Remember, Communications is the foundation of any relationships. I have heard about many divorce cases are people saying that they are not compatible with each other. What nonsense is this!? If they are not compatible and why they did get married in the first place? And they are not willing to sacrifice themselve and make themselves compatible. Come to talk about sacrifice, remember at start that love is about giving; give out of own expense. In this world, who is compatible to each other? It is compatible if you think it is and not compatible if you think its not. I think that a wonderful relationship is where both party appreciate and enjoy each other's different world; interests, hobbies, likes, thoughts, food and etc. Isn't it nice? =D Here is the two important Policies to follow. If you follows these two policies and avoid the 6 love buster factors, your relationship with your bf, gf or spouse will be strengthen and more loving. Policy of Radical Honesty Reveal as much information as you know about yourself to the person. E.g. thoughts, feelings, habits, like, dislikes, hobbies, plans, goals, food and etc. Let the other party know you inside out and vice versa. When you all understand each other, isn't it great so both will do the right things that pleased each others? Policy of Joint Agreement Never do anything without enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse. Remember, Marriage is a Partnership! Not Proprietorship! This is very important because when Husband and Wife make decisions together, they become 1 Team. A very strong team. I give you an example. I believe you all know that sometimes when a child in a family is naughty like picky of food, or want to buy toys, one of the parents agree while other disagree? Or when a dad wants to discipline his child, the child will always run to the mum for protection? This may look nothing but remember that a small broken thread that destroy the whole cloth. After a long period of time, the dad and mum will tends to disagree and argue with each other and what happens after that when the problem is not been solved? I think you know the answer. No matter what, both should talk and come up a decision. When both agrees, their relationship will become stronger. When a child is faced with disciplinary actions, if he or she run to the mum, his or her mum will bring the child to the dad for punishment. So the child will know that he or she cannot escape punichment when mistakes are made; avoid making mistakes in future. Isn't it better that way?  |
Melinda :D
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